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Wife-shifting

This is the practice of doing something your wife will permit, while she’s awake (such as taking a nap), and saving till she’s asleep the things she would bitch about if you were doing while she’s awake (such as surfing the Internet–“why don’t you spend time with me?!”).

This could also be called nap-shifting, or “surfing dogs”. In the nap case, if you take a one hour nap, you can stay awake an extra hour, after the house is quiet. (Of course, she may not let you nap earlier, or will contrive some way wake you early–turning on the vacuum cleaner, claiming she needs you to help her open a jar or lift something heavy, etc. But on occasion she may let you nap.)

Another example: suppose you have an hour’s worth of bills to pay. It’s stupid to do this at night, during your time. If your wife is sauntering around the house and catches you surfing the internet, she is bound to cock her eyes and try to drag you into her activities, even if it’s just abject boredom. But if she catches you sitting at the desk, paying bills, she will leave you alone since you are doing something that needs to be done for the family, something she might otherwise have to do if you don’t. So it’s much more efficient to save your surfing for later and do the wife-approved things while the beast is prowling. When she finally tires out and retires to her lair, then you can do what you want.

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  • Paul Vahur September 21, 2009, 11:11 am

    Does your wife read your blog? If yes how do you plan to continue this practice? 🙂

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