God’s Blog: This is sacrilegious, but God’s Live Journal is hilarious as all get out. Sample entries: “Did you know that the part of your little brains that controls sneezing is the same part that controls orgasm? I did that on purpose, but I can’t remember why. […] Sometimes I think you don’t really love Me, but that you’re only saying you do so I will give you cool stuff. I usually feel better after I make a bird or two shit on your car. […] Medammit I hate doing My taxes. I think this year I’m going to claim you all as My dependents, along with birds of the air, and lillies of the field. I wonder if I should classify Myself as an independent contractor… […] Just the other day, I needed to call Vishnu to find out what time we were leaving to go see Allah, but I couldn’t find his number anywhere. I thought I knew it, but accidentally called Krishna instead. And he’s all like, so what are you and Vishnu doing? And I’m like, ummm, nothing really, just hanging out, and it won’t be that fun talk to you later. Last thing I need is for that tamborine-slapping freak tagging along with us. I finally got Vishnu on AIM, and he says Allah’s pissed because I didn’t call him on his birthday, so he didn’t want us coming over. Allah gets pissed way too easily. But I called him, and worked it all out by telling him he sure didn’t want to get Vishnu mad, because he probably can shoot 50 arrows at once with all those arms of his. Allah was a little confused, but I said Dude, he’s Indian, isn’t he? And that seemed to work.”
